


A Pair of Eyes

by CeliaEquus



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adoption, Babies, Daddy Coulson, Get Together, Kid Fic, Kink Meme, M/M, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, Oblivious, Pre-Slash, Prompt Fill, Protective Phil Coulson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 08:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2806331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeliaEquus/pseuds/CeliaEquus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint doesn't know that the baby Phil has just adopted is Clint's biological daughter.  Phil wants it to stay that way, but his friends are all too damn nosy.  And Julie Coulson is too cute.</p><p>Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, or any other Marvel thingummies, nor am I making money from this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Pair of Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [asamandra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asamandra/gifts).



This was technically a bad idea. But one look at that face and he knew he couldn't go back.

It all started with a mission eleven months ago. Clint had accidentally knocked up the mark he was supposed to seduce. It'd worked a little too well, and through some random act of fate the woman had ended up pregnant. There was no doubt that Clint was the father. Even if she hadn't sworn off men for two months before then, and remained celibate after Clint… the evidence was now staring him in the face.

Actually, that was a lie. Technically… this started about a day after Phil brought Clint in to SHIELD and recruited him. He'd been gone from the start, and he'd yet to get over it after nearly ten years. It was unacceptable and shameful, and the subject of much teasing from Fury and Natasha, whenever they condescended to tease him.

"The paperwork is in order," the maternity nurse said. Phil was staring at Clint Barton's illegitimate daughter through the window of the nursery. "She's yours, when you're ready to take her."

Clint never wanted children. No matter how much he flirted with every woman he came across – even Natasha, though it was more banter than anything sincere – he never seemed to want a relationship. Judging by his parents' behaviour, it was no wonder he had no interest in being a father. All the same, Phil had asked him, seven months ago, and then three months ago, whether he'd ever reconsidered wanting to be a parent. The same old answer: he didn't want to turn out like his father, and their job was too dangerous. The last was an erroneous argument, considering the excellent support system for SHIELD parents, but Phil didn't comment.

Instead, he decided to take the one piece of Clint Barton that he could get. His daughter.

Phil nodded, and the woman entered the nursery. She picked up his – Phil's – daughter, and brought her out. Phil took her into his arms, and gazed down at her face. He'd retired to desk work after Loki, and he knew that there were rumours about him adopting a child going around SHIELD. After the rumours started, Clint began to look at Phil thoughtfully, but there was no way he could connect the dots. The woman had been jailed, given birth in prison, and there was no record of a baby in SHIELD's files.

"Hello," he whispered, stroking the baby's cheek. He'd have to come up with a name for her, something which wouldn't give away any connection to Clint. So Frances was out.

"Have you seen her eyes yet?" the nurse asked. Phil shook his head; the child was still asleep. He placed her in the stroller he'd brought, content to let her stay at hospital until she was old enough to be taken home. She'd been born on time, but they still needed to keep her for observation, since she was a jail baby. He settled her, his mind running through everything he had learnt from the books he'd bought as soon as he knew that the adoption had been approved.

"She's really mine?" he asked.

"Yes. Don't forget to register her name. Have you thought of one yet?"

It was silly. He should've done, but he had no idea what to call her. Then it became obvious.

"Julie," he said. "After my mom."

"And a middle name? Or a series of middle names?"

"No more than one middle name," he said, and he chuckled. "I guess… yeah. Diana."

The goddess of hunting. An archer. But no one had to know her middle name. Maybe he'd nickname her JD when she grew older?

"Julie Diana Coulson," the nurse said. "It sounds lovely."

Phil smiled at her, and then at Julie as her eyes opened. His smile faded.

"My God," he whispered. "They're just like her father."

"Her biological father? I'm guessing you know him."

"Yes," he said.

"Does he know that you've adopted his daughter?"

"She's not going to get the opportunity to know her mother," Phil said. He was enchanted despite the feeling of deep-seated panic, which would eventually rear its head. "And he has no interest in raising a child."

"So you're doing it instead?"

"Yes," he repeated. "And she's… she's gorgeous. Look at her."

"She'll have all the boys running after her when she's grown up," the nurse said, grinning. Phil's back straightened.

"And they'll keep their hands off her, if they know what's good for them," he said.

"Spoken like a father."

He felt suddenly bashful. "I'd better get going. Thank you…?"

"Patricia."

"Thanks, Patricia, for looking after her."

"They wouldn't be giving her to you, without a partner, if she wasn't going to a very good home," Patricia said. "But you look after her."

"I will. I'll protect her with my life."

The sad thing was that the children of criminals usually weren't as cared about as children of law-abiding citizens; it seemed the system had no problem with giving her to Phil. He'd been fully prepared to argue that many single people made a success of raising their own children. It was entirely possible that Nick Fury had argued on his behalf, if a fight had occurred at all.

Phil stopped in a corridor, and pulled out the Kevlar blanket from inside the stroller. He swaddled it around the baby, and then activated the concealed tech. It would keep her protected until they were in safe environs, i.e. Phil's apartment.

For this particular trip, he'd left Lola at home, and strapped Julia into the back of the borrowed station wagon. He'd given her names to the hospital and to Nick, so that all the necessary paperwork could be filed. He'd also sent a picture of her, sleeping again, to both her prospective godparents. Nick sent his approval, and Pepper gushed about how perfect the baby was. He hadn't told either of them about the eyes yet. That was a conversation he hoped to avoid for as long as possible.

 

Clint had tried not to get his hopes up, but he couldn't get those conversations with Phil out of his mind.

_"Do you ever think about becoming a parent?"_

_"Haven't we talked about this before, Coulson?"_

_"People's views can change. You're no longer solely a SHIELD agent; you're an Avenger, now living part-time with your team-mates. Big lifestyle changes like that can trigger—"_

_"No. I know what my dad was like, and I know people can become their parents."_

_"I know you, Clint. You'd never be like that."_

_"It isn't worth the risk."_

It was an old argument; yet in light of the scuttlebutt going around SHIELD, it sounded like Phil was adopting. Had he been seeking Clint's approval? It's not like he needed it. Had he been seeking advice? Like Clint could give that. Maybe he'd wanted someone to tell him whether or not it was a good idea?

But the one idea Clint wished he could shake from his head… was it possible that Phil had been trying, in a roundabout way, to ask whether Clint would help him raise a child?

Because the answer would've been no. Clint wasn't father material, and Phil was insane to believe otherwise. And what would Phil gain from it? It's not like he was interested in Clint at all. If he had been, Clint would've made a move by now.

If they'd been together, Clint still would've said no to adoption. He wasn't ready for any kind of commitment, not even with Phil Coulson. As far as he knew, only Natasha had even identified his crush, and that was because he couldn't hide anything from her. Not his fears of not being good enough for anyone, let alone their handler; not his irrational feelings that he was betraying a non-existent relationship every time he had to seduce someone for his job; and not his concern that he thought the condom on his mission nearly a year ago had been a bit torn. He'd only thought about it later, but the woman was in custody by then, and no one mentioned a pregnancy to him.

Come to that, he'd hate being tied down to something like a child, which wasn't even the result of love. No kid needed the kind of life Clint led; he'd always thought that, and wasn't going to stop now, no matter how many people at SHIELD were able to be parents. It wasn't for him.

"Phil has his baby," Pepper said over dinner. "I'm going to visit them later."

"Wait, he really adopted some kid?" Clint said, wide-eyed. "That wasn't just a rumour?"

"I will come with you," Natasha said. "Just because I don't want to be godmother doesn't mean that I'm opposed to being an honorary aunt."

"You knew about this?" Steve asked.

"Yes," she said. "Are you coming?"

"Well… yeah, I'd like to."

"Maybe another time," Bruce said, and Thor nodded, still shovelling food into his mouth.

"Clint?" Pepper said.

"I'll… I'll stay here. Don't want to crowd them." Clint didn't want to see Phil forming a family without him. Stupid, but he was allowed to be jealous. He was half in love with the man, after all.

"Hell yeah, I'm going," Tony said. "I know I helped with the crib, but we need baby presents. Do we need baby presents? What do you get for a baby? A rattle? A mobile?"

"I've already been helping Phil purchase the necessary items," Pepper said. "Natasha has, as well. There'll be a baby shower, if we can organise one. Presents can wait until then."

"Party? I'm excited already."

 

Phil was disappointed, but unsurprised, when Clint didn't show up with the others. He placed a finger on his lips.

"She's just fallen asleep," he whispered. "That means quiet. I'm looking at you, Stark. And watch your language."

"Where is she, Phil?" Pepper asked.

"My bedroom. I don't want her alone in the nursery just yet."

He led them into his bedroom, baby monitor clipped to his trousers at all times. She snuffled a bit when he switched an extra lamp on, but didn't stir other than that. He heard Steve's breath catch, and couldn't blame him. In any light she was beautiful, but she looked her loveliest in the romantic glow of low lighting. He'd positioned her safely, and Tony's life signs monitoring equipment was at work through the crib. An alarm at Phil's bedside would alert him to any problems.

"I want to hold her next time she's awake," Pepper said. "Can I, Phil?"

"Of course."

"Her face…" Steve began. He met Phil's eyes, and then seemed to shake something. "She's beautiful. You… chose well."

"I got lucky," Phil said.

"You didn't tell us her name," Natasha said.

"Julie," Phil said. "After my mom. She'd have been a proud grandmother."

"I can't wait for all the milestones," Pepper said. "We'll be there for every one, Phil, I promise."

He chuckled, and ushered them out. "Director Fury's already been here. She was awake then, and she was very good. Didn't cry, didn't spit up on him. Babies need a lot of sleep, and I think she was tired after getting settled in here."

"Aw, that would've been so cute," Tony said in a baby voice. Phil rolled his eyes.

"Yes, it was very sweet," he said dryly. "Now clear out. I'm getting tired myself, and I'll probably have a difficult night."

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Natasha asked. "Someone could bring a bag."

His face softened. "It'll be fine, Natasha," he said. "Don't want her to rely on having a mother figure who won't always be there."

"Very well. I am only one phone call away."

"Thank you."

 

The night was pretty much as Phil had predicted. He woke four times to Julie crying, although one time it was more like whimpering. He held her and sang 'Christopher Robin is Saying His Prayers', hoping that if he always sang her to sleep with the same lullaby, that it would become habit. It was a theory, anyway, and one he was willing to test.

Part of the reason Nick had been fully in favour of this was that Phil didn't need much sleep anyway, and spent most of his time at work. As long as he was raising a child, he'd stay at home more to make sure that he got enough sleep, and would take the time off that he was supposed to have.

_"You've forgotten that your duties have reduced since becoming liaison to the Avengers. It's about time you realised that you won't be needed for every little emergency at SHIELD."_

So Phil didn't mind being woken. And he also knew better than to plan a schedule around his baby's development. Establish a daily routine, yes; but he couldn't possibly know when would be a good time to move her to the nursery (next to the bedroom, with a connecting door). He couldn't know when she would start teething, or anything else. And Phil always worked best on the fly. Except up against demi-gods with spears, but he intended to avoid taking foolish risks like that now that he was a father.

"What a good girl," he cooed as he placed her back in the crib. She fussed a little bit, clutching onto his finger with a tight grasp he hadn't been expecting. But her grip relaxed as she nodded off to sleep for the last time that night. Phil returned to bed, and slept soundly until morning.

In retrospect, it was actually the best night's sleep he'd had in years.

 

Bruce and Thor tagged along the next day, while Tony stayed at home. Clint went in to SHIELD before anyone else woke up. Steve took his bike, and stopped at a baby store on the way. He tucked the Captain America blanket under his jacket to keep it warm and safe, and showed up at Phil's apartment only five minutes after the others.

"It's not wrapped," he said, handing over the blanket to Phil, who blushed. "I hope she likes it."

"Thank you," Phil said. "She's awake now. She's…" He hesitated, and then shook his head. "I won't be long. Make yourselves at home."

"I thought that gifts were customarily given at a party?" Thor said. Steve shrugged.

"Couldn't resist when I saw it online," he said. "I wanted to get it before anyone else could."

"Did they have other Avengers baby merchandise?" Natasha asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I don't know. I wasn't looking. But… there might've been. I thought I saw a display, but I saved time by asking at the desk, and they got the blanket for me."

Phil appeared a couple of minutes later.

"Freshly bathed and changed," he said. "She's due for another feed in half an hour. Here." He handed her to Pepper first. The CEO of Stark Industries looked absolutely enraptured as she stared at the baby.

"Hi, Julie," she said. "I'm your Aunt Pepper. Will you open your eyes for me?"

Steve noticed that Phil stiffened, and had a good idea why. Maybe it was just because he was an artist, or maybe because he'd put two and two together, but he was sure that Julie's eyes were going to be very familiar.

Pepper gasped, and she looked up at Phil. "I don't…"

He shrugged casually. "Don't ask me. I wasn't expecting that, either. It's amazing how similar they are, isn't it?"

"What's similar?" Natasha asked.

Pepper drew her gaze away from Phil. "Julie's eyes are just like Clint's."

"Really?" Bruce said, moving closer. He looked over Pepper's shoulder. "Wow. You're not kidding."

Phil was capable of avoiding direct questions, and jumped in with some story which was probably complete garbage. Maybe not complete garbage – the best fabrications had some basis of truth – but he had to be lying through his teeth. Steve was even more positive than before that this was Clint's baby; and, more to the point, Clint had no idea. He decided to keep his lips sealed; it was up to Phil to tell the truth one day. Though the question was, would it be too late to salvage the solid friendship by then?

When it came to Steve's turn to hold her, he had to ask.

"What's her middle name?" he asked, tickling her right foot. Julie wriggled, squinting up at him.

"It's, uh… Diana," Phil said. "I thought it fit. It—" He cut himself off. "Another name close to my heart, that's all."

"I like it," Steve said. Diana, the hunter goddess, associated with the bow. He made eye contact with Phil, and narrowed his eyes slightly. He raised a single eyebrow, and could tell that Phil knew that he knew the moment Phil pursed his lips. "She's a sweetheart. If you need a babysitter…"

"Thank you," Phil said. Steve passed Julie on to Thor. She looked even smaller in his arms.

"She is in possession of a most charming smile, and her eyes do indeed bear an extraordinary resemblance to Hawkeye," he declared, in a softer voice than usual. Julie began to fuss, but she settled once she was back in Phil's arms. Phil held her close, cradling her head, and kissed the fine hairs.

"Tea?" he asked.

They all made their excuses. Steve smiled reassuringly when Phil met his eyes again, and shook his head. Phil relaxed infinitesimally.

"Thank you," he said. "For the blanket."

"You're welcome, Phil. See you later, Julie."

Phil smiled like a proud father as he shook her hand in a wave. She snuggled back into his chest, and Steve was pretty sure that if they all hadn't lost their hearts to her already, they certainly did then.

How would Clint be able to resist such a sight? Steve would have to draw it, and hope that Clint snooped through his drawings. After all, it wouldn't be his fault then, would it?

 

Staying away from Phil's apartment cold turkey was hard at first. Clint couldn't give a good reason, and signed himself up for a new mission. Natasha gave him a stern look, but he couldn't care less. She was his best friend, and he loved her. He just… didn't feel strong enough to meet Phil's daughter yet. Babies weren't his thing; shooting the bad guys was his thing.

He knew Phil had brought her in to SHIELD a couple of times, and spied on them once from the vents. She – Julie – had been sleeping. Phil was talking to her softly, so softly that Clint couldn't make out the words. But Phil was smiling as he stroked her hair, before turning back to the files on his desk.

(Every minute that his mind wasn't on the mission, Clint would return to that scene in the office. Phil looked gorgeous. He already did, but there was a glow about him that Clint thought only pregnant mothers were supposed to get, not adoptive fathers.)

He slithered back the way he came, silent as the grave, and dropped out in a safe place. It was only a minute before Natasha found him.

"You're going away," she said.

"I'm always going away. That's what SHIELD agents do. Go on missions."

"A lot of missions coinciding with Daddy-Coulson being around."

Clint snorted, falling in to step beside her. "That's what you're calling him? Daddy-Coulson?"

"That's what everyone is calling him," she replied. "Not to his face, of course. Were you here the other day?"

"You're gonna have to be more specific than that, Natasha."

She pursed her lips. "When some idiot suggested that he was going soft. Coulson handed Julie over to Maria, and then took down the same idiot in three moves."

"Just because Coulson's now a father doesn't make him any less of a BAMF," Clint said. "If anything, he's gonna be tougher now that he has a baby to protect."

"Mmm. I think everyone understands that now." She eyed him slyly. "He's been receiving phone numbers. Women like a man who's raising a child by himself, especially if they look as sweet together as they do."

"I don't care," Clint lied.

"Of course you don't," Natasha said. "You're the last person in the world to care about Phil Coulson's life outside of SHIELD."

Instead of replying, Clint raised an eyebrow. Natasha continued to follow him to the roof, where he met the team he was going with.

"See you later," he said.

"Be careful," she said. He looked at her quizzically, but her expression remained neutral. Chalking it up to more weird behaviour from the people around him, Clint hopped into the cockpit of the Quinjet.

 

Phil had nightmares. Of course he did; he wouldn't be a good SHIELD agent if he didn't have reasons to suffer bad dreams. He'd hoped that having Julie nearby might help.

It did. Just not the way he expected.

He woke up, gasping for breath, and grateful that he'd had his bedroom sound-proofed long ago. But he heard Julie crying, and stumbled over to the crib.

"I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, and he picked her up. "So sorry." She fisted her tiny hands in his pyjama shirt and whimpered. There were no tears yet; she was too young for that. But the sound was heart-breaking, and Phil wondered, not for the first time, whether this had been all that good an idea. Was he being selfish?

As the dregs of the nightmare left his conscience, he relaxed, now more focussed on his baby. She continued to sob until his heart-rate slowed further. Gradually, she settled, and Phil realised that it was in tandem with him calming down. Amazed, he sat on the edge of his bed. Just holding her was enough to soothe him, and she even managed the most miniscule of smiles before falling asleep again. Like she knew her work was done.

"I'm the one who's supposed to look after you, not the other way around," Phil murmured. "But thank you, Julie." He kissed the top of her head. "Back to bed now."

 

Tony barged right past Phil into his apartment.

"You came alone?" Phil asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I'm here to convince you," Tony said, making a beeline for the crib. He looked down at Julie, and she gurgled back. He made a funny face.

"Convince me?" Phil said. "To do or about what?"

"Move into the tower," he replied, turning around. "We don't want social services to say that you shouldn't be raising a child alone, and especially with your line of work. If you stay with us, hey! Instant babysitters! You don't have to take her to work as long as one of us is home, and you get to see Clint more."

"Why would I want to see Clint?" Phil asked, trying to sound casual. Tony was too caught up in continuing to make silly faces at Julie.

"Because," Tony said. "You're in love with him."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"But you have feelings for him? You just admitted it!"

"No, I…" Phil sighed. "I don't want to move into a new place. I don't want to upset Julie. She needs stability, and I need to be away from anyone who reminds me of work. Maria's landlord is upping her rent, and she's never liked the guy, so I've offered her one of the spare rooms for as long as she needs." He shrugged. "She said she'd think about it. Not exactly what you had in mind, or what I had in mind. But I trust her, and we've spent time together outside of SHIELD, so she's more like a friend. It's a bit hard to find anyone I don't associate with work, since work is… _was_ my life."

Tony stared off into space. Phil watched him silently. Finally, Tony spoke.

"Okay," he said. "I get what you're saying. I don't agree with it, but I… understand your point-of-view. It just doesn't sit right with me. We want you to be safe. Both of you."

Phil smiled wryly. "I'm not the only SHIELD agent in this building. Why do you think there are such high security measures? There's also a couple of retired CIA agents, a few cops, past and present, and some people who worked or work for foreign intelligence. We have get-togethers, and we don't have much, if any, family. Where do you think I spend my Christmases?"

"So… this is actually one of the safest places she could be?"

"Yes. I've been keeping her with me because it will take a long time to vet a nanny, and we're not ready to be separated yet. I worry any time I have to be away from her, even if it's just for a couple of minutes." He gently added, "That's what it's like for any parent. Any _good_ parent. It's in the job description. Not being her biological dad, though, makes me feel like I have to reinforce the bond, especially since there's no mom around."

Tony nodded slowly. He tickled Julie, and she squirmed.

"See ya later, kiddo," he said. "Look after your daddy for us, okay?"

"She already does," Phil said, and he checked on her. She blinked up at him. "Who's Daddy's little girl, huh? Love you, baby." He stroked her soft arms. "Thank you for the offer, Tony, but I can't accept it."

Tony sighed, and he clapped Phil on the shoulder. "See you at the next briefing," he said.

"Take care, Tony. Send my love to Pepper."

"Will do."

 

The next mission was a long one. Two weeks of reconnaissance followed by five months deep undercover, then a seventy-two hour operation. After that, Clint slept for a couple of days before allowing himself to join the others, and find out what he'd missed.

"Not much," Natasha said.

"Only everything," Bruce said. Clint looked from one to the other.

"Thanks," he said. "That's real helpful."

"We aim to please," Natasha said.

"What's been going on? Seriously, Natasha."

She sighed – a bad sign – and set down her glass of probably-water.

"Coulson's gone on a couple of dates," she said. Something heavy settled in Clint's stomach.

"Uh-huh?" he said cautiously. "That's it?"

"Didn't last long," Bruce said. "Julie fretted for a little while the first time, until she fell asleep. But Phil kept calling or sending texts every five minutes to make sure she was okay. It took Natasha going to the restaurant to reassure him that Julie was fine, and that he'd be notified if there was a problem. I think she intimidated the guy he was with."

"A guy?" Clint blurted. Bruce frowned.

"Yes," he said. "You've known him longer than any of us. How could you not know?"

"I… we don't exactly talk about things like that."

"You don't 'exactly' talk at all these days," Natasha said.

"I was undercover—"

"Despite what you may think, Barton, you're not the only agent qualified to do undercover missions," she snapped. "In fact, an argument could be made that, as an official Avenger, you're no longer qualified for long-term missions, as you are required to be on stand-by. You are fortunate that the Fantastic Four agreed to help out if needed. Do you wish to be replaced here?"

"What? No!"

"Then begin acting like a man, and not a boy who's afraid of his own feelings," she said, and she left the kitchen. Bruce arched an eyebrow, not looking up from the newspaper crossword puzzle even as he reached for his mug.

"She's right," he said, before Clint could open his mouth. He took a sip. "You haven't asked about Phil and Julie yet."

"The dates," Clint said. "They didn't go well?"

"No. Phil hates being away from his little girl, so things never go further than a first date. No one wants to compete with that. Besides, they can all tell that he isn't really interested, more forcing himself to go out. So no one's been bugging him to find a boyfriend, `cause clearly it isn't going to work." He finished drinking his coffee, and filled in the second-to-last clue.

"Is… _she_ doing okay?" Clint asked.

"If you mean Julie," Bruce gave him a stern look, "then yes. She's fine. Really strong grip, in the pink of health, right size and weight for a baby her age. Well-behaved, though with Phil as her father, what else could you expect? Despite her heritage—"

"You mean you know who her parents are?"

Bruce studied him, and shook his head.

"No, I don't know," he said. "I can only speculate. Phil's been very tight-lipped about it. I think he wants to protect her."

"Look how well that ended up with Thor's brother," Clint muttered, sitting on the opposite side of the kitchen bench.

"Phil's one of the most doting parents I've ever seen," Bruce said. His expression fell. "It's almost a good thing he doesn't want to live here. It can be hard seeing what a loving childhood looks like, when few of us had that experience."

Clint looked down at his lap. "Sorry I left you all in the lurch," he said.

"Don't do it again."

"I'll do my best."

"No. Not your best. Don't do it again. The Other Guy missed you." Clint chuckled, and Bruce tapped his pen against the paper. "Five-letter word. D-something-A-something-A. 'Roman goddess of hunting; portrayed with bow'."

"Hmm… Diana."

"Thank you," Bruce said, writing it in. Clint thought the doctor stared at him for a moment, but he must've been seeing things.

"You're welcome," he said. "I'm, uh, gonna go catch up with the news. I asked JARVIS to keep a record of everything important. I'll do it in my room, so I won't disturb anyone."

"Be back down here by seven," Bruce said. "Thor will want to hold a feast in your honour, I imagine." Clint groaned. "Catered, of course."

"Fine," he said. "See you then."

 

One of the rooms on the common floor had been converted into a nursery, for whenever Phil visited with Julie. It was probably a ploy by Tony to get her used to the tower, and then coerce them into living with the Avengers. It really was the last thing Phil wanted, not least because Julie's eyes… if Clint saw them, it wouldn't take him long to work it out. He knew the archer had had his suspicions about the condom breaking (something he didn't see fit to tell Phil at the time, and he had to find out through Natasha). Phil loved Julie's eyes, partly because they looked so much like Clint's, but mostly because they were lovely in their own right. He hoped they never changed.

"She's asleep," he whispered to JARVIS.

"I will inform the others," the AI replied. "Agent Barton is home."

"Hence the big dinner Thor called me about," Phil said. He had a baby bag over his shoulder, a habit he didn't want to break no matter how well Stark Tower and his office at SHIELD were equipped. Julie was in a Kevlar sling strapped to his chest, and he bounced her gently in place. She made the cutest whuffling noises when he did that.

When the elevator doors opened smoothly, Phil smiled to see the others. Thor bid him welcome in his quiet-Thor voice (which resembled a normal human's speaking tone), and led Phil through to the nursery. JARVIS was better than a baby monitor, but Phil felt better hearing his daughter's breathing, so he left the monitor beside her crib and kept his earpiece in. It was discreet, and it made him feel secure.

"Welcome back, Agent Barton," he said once they rejoined the others. Clint saluted him.

"Sorry I was gone so long, boss," he said.

"Next time, give us some warning."

"Yes, sir. I heard your baby's doing well?"

He blinked a few times before replying. "She's doing very well."

"Good." Clint nodded, looking away. "Good."

"Okay, to bust through the sudden awkwardness, let's go eat," Tony said, shepherding them to the dining table. Whoever did the catering had done a fantastic job, and Phil was surprised his stomach didn't start growling. He turned up the volume on his earpiece so he could hear Julie over the noise of moving chairs and clattering cutlery. He found that he was seated opposite Clint, and avoided eye contact as best he could. It was easy enough; Clint didn't prompt him into conversation, not even as Phil told the others about how Julie was pulling herself along on her belly at a rapid pace, and played with certain toys on certain days of the week. It changed depending on the weather, and she could definitely tell changes in the weather.

"Her first birthday's in a couple of months, isn't it?" Pepper asked. "What're you planning to do?"

"I don't know," he replied. "Maybe a little party."

"Have one here," Tony said. Phil rolled his eyes.

"That'd be showing favouritism," he said. "I'll invite the neighbours over in the morning, maybe have a big cake at SHIELD during the day, and… if you want, we could come here in the evening."

"Please do," Steve said, all wide-eyed and earnest as usual. "Her Uncle Steve's been making a picture book for her."

"When did you start referring to yourself in the third person?" Clint asked. Steve frowned at him.

"I don't," he said. "Just telling Phil what he can tell Julie when she's awake."

"It'll be pretty soon," Phil said. "She needs to be fed in about a quarter of an hour, so she'll wake up in about ten minutes' time. Like clockwork," he added proudly.

"Glad it's not me raising a kid," Clint said. "Too much responsibility."

Phil couldn't help the anger which rose in him at that.

"Yes," he said. "You can't even handle the responsibility of remaining part of a team, instead of gallivanting off on missions someone else could handle." He stood up, his chair scraping against the wooden floor. "I'm… I'm gonna check on Julie. Excuse me."

He strode off, trying to tamp down the rage which had been simmering ever since Clint started doing his disappearing acts. It was too early for his baby's feed, so he detoured to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He needed to calm down, or Julie would fuss and refuse her food until he relaxed. He'd never tell anyone, but at times she resembled Clint in more than just appearance. Never settling until Phil himself was settled, remaining quiet when she had to, on the move whenever she felt like being mischievous. And he loved her. God, how he loved her.

 

He took longer than he meant to, because he heard Julie making her waking-up noises, which consisted of a few whimpers, a cough, and maybe a burble. Then he heard something which caused his blood to freeze.

"Hey, Julie." _Clint_. "I'm one of your daddy's friends… well, agents. I'm Clint. Clint Barton? I don't know whether he's told you about me… but then he wouldn't have reason to, would he?"

Phil had been on the move since he heard Julie waking up. He broke into a run as soon as he heard Clint's voice. It was almost morbid, listening to the conversation.

"Who's a pretty girl?" Clint continued. "Aw, you wanna play peekaboo?" Phil almost tripped at that. "Can you see me? I'm here. Where are you? Oh, _there_ you are!" Phil heard a squeak of amusement from Julie. His heart still wouldn't stop pounding at a rate of knots, and it took everything in him not to wrench the nursery door off its hinges.

"Clint," he began. Clint was crouched beside the crib, and Julie was staring at him, her arms and legs waving in delight. The archer didn't seem to notice the agent standing behind him.

"I've disappeared again," Clint whispered, covering his eyes. Then he moved his hands away. "Surprise! I'm here!" Julie squealed again, reaching towards him. Clint didn't seem to understand the move, and stuck his fingers between the bars of the crib. She latched on with one of her hands, and he stilled. "Your… your eyes…"

Phil cleared his throat, breaking the almost-silence, and Clint's head swivelled around. He began to pull his hand away, only to find it hard to break Julie's grip. He managed to wriggle his finger out, and stood up, ignoring her whimpers. But they hurt Phil's heart; on some level, Julie must've known just how important this man was, and the rejection was cutting her like a knife. Pissed off, Phil strode over to the other side of the crib and lifted her out. Her arms waved again, until they grasped onto the front of Phil's shirt. She whimpered into the material, and Phil spoke soothingly until she fell quiet.

"Phil," Clint whispered. "Why does she have my eyes?"

"Julie has her own eyes," Phil answered.

"Call me crazy, but they look like mine."

"You're crazy. Happy?"

"No," Clint said, scowling at him. "Phil, the timeline would fit. Is she… was she born in a jail?"

Slowly, Phil nodded. "Yes."

"To my target?"

"…Yes."

"Is she _mine_?"

Phil drew in a shuddering breath. "She is… your biological daughter. B-but I'm the one who adopted her. She's legally mine." He held her closer, aware that she was holding on tightly. "And I swear, Clint Barton, if I have to face the devil myself, I won't let anyone take her from me. No matter how much I love you, she's mine, and you won't take her away, not ever. No one will. They'd have to pry her out of my cold, dead hands." He turned away, trying to get himself under control, and took the opportunity to take her to the high chair and strap her in. To keep himself busy, he prepared her food, and placed it in front of her. He grabbed the barstool kept in the room specifically for this, and sat between Julie and where Clint was still standing.

"…I have a daughter," Clint said.

" _I_ have a daughter," Phil said. "I'm her father in all the ways that matter. You want nothing to do with raising a child, remember?"

"I could."

" _No_ ," he said, glaring at Clint over his shoulder. Clint's shoulders were hunched, and he looked smaller than usual. It didn't tug at Phil's heart-strings the way it usually did; he was too concerned about losing his little girl. "Not this one. No way."

"But she's half mine," Clint said as Phil tried to feed Julie. Sure enough, sensing the tension in the room, she refused to eat. Phil sighed, and stroked her hair.

"Calm down, baby," he said. "It's okay. Please eat. I'm not angry, okay? I'm alright. See?" He smiled hopefully. "Eat up, or I'll worry."

Julie seemed to look over at Clint, and then back at Phil. This time, she accepted her food, and his heart sank. What if she started to prefer her biological father over Phil?

"Is this why you kept asking me whether I wanted to be a father?" Clint asked. His voice sounded closer. "Because you knew I was going to be one whether I liked it or not, and you wanted me to raise her?"

"Of course I didn't want you to raise her," Phil said. "Not when you weren't interested. That wouldn't be fair. I… I love her. She's mine." Julie kept feeding, which was a relief.

"You said… Phil, you said you loved _me_."

He swallowed. "I did."

"Did love me, or did say it?"

"Both."

"…So you don't anymore?"

"What, love you?" Phil sighed, but forced another smile when Julie hesitated between spoonfuls. "Clint, I'm having difficulty keeping calm while you're here. Can you please wait outside until we're done?"

Clint left the room without another word. Phil managed to finish feeding Julie, even though she kept looking at the door. Scarily perceptive for a baby.

"You love me, don't you, sweetie?" he murmured. "You don't want another daddy to replace me, do you?"

After the feed, he placed a towel over his shoulder, and acquiesced to her grabby-hands. She nuzzled close, and he repositioned her head before burping her. He was so lucky to have such a perfect baby. They had their ups and downs, of course; but he was aware that things could've been so much worse, and he wanted to give her the most loving and nurturing environment that an agent of SHIELD could give.

And no matter how he felt, there was no way in heaven or hell anyone would take her from him without a fight.

 

Clint shuffled up and down the hall outside the nursery, something which had obviously been installed since he left. Geez, with all the dressing-downs he was getting, he felt lousy for disappearing like that. He could almost imagine that they cared, if he tried hard enough.

He cast a longing look towards the door. He still didn't really want to be a dad; it'd all go pear-shaped if he tried to raise a baby, one screw-up after another. Kind of like his life. He didn't want to continue the cycle.

But he'd seen Phil with his kid.

His.

Their?

Phil's daughter was also Clint's daughter, or vice versa. The thought made Clint's head spin, but in a good way. He leaned against the wall.

Would it be so bad to be a father, if it was with Phil? He seemed to have a handle on it, from what Clint had seen (not much) and heard (a hell of a lot). He'd never let Clint screw up before, and he definitely wouldn't if his daughter was involved.

And above all these thoughts was what Phil had said: ' _I love you_ '.

Sure, in context it hadn't been that great. But he said the words, and that was all that mattered, as far as he was concerned. Phil didn't say 'loved'; he said 'love'. He was just equivocating. He _had_ to love Clint. He'd knowingly adopted Clint's biological daughter, even though he didn't have a connection to either parent. Hell, Julie would've had a safer life with anyone else. Which meant there could only be one reason Phil would…

The door swung open, and Phil backed off, letting Clint into the nursery. It didn't miss his notice that Phil held Julie that much closer, and looked… concerned. Hell, he looked terrified, barely meeting Clint's eyes. Phil should never have looked at Clint like that.

"Can I hold her?" he asked softly. Phil paused, and then nodded, resigned.

"Of course," he said. He instructed Clint how to hold his arms, and then slipped Julie into them. Clint shivered as his arm brushed against Phil's, but he concentrated on making sure that he didn't drop the baby. Phil stood close, just in case. Clint kind of… liked it.

"This is okay," Clint said. He stared at Julie, who stared right back. It was unnerving, seeing his own eyes reflected back at him. But Phil was right; they weren't his eyes. Julie's eyes had never seen the violence Clint had; she'd never killed anyone. Her hands – her tiny, tiny hands – were unstained. He hoped Phil would keep it that way.

Phil moved, obviously confident that Clint could handle it, and perched on the barstool next to the high chair. He was nearly dragging his feet, his attitude so different from the cool agent that Clint knew. He followed.

"She's beautiful," he said. "I bet she gets that a lot."

"Half of it from me," Phil said. "If I'm not careful, she'll grow up with an ego to match Tony Stark's."

"Nah," Clint said. "You'll raise her right."

"Will I?"

Clint met Phil's gaze. His lips were pursed until they were white, and his eyes looked wetter than Clint had ever seen them.

"Of course," he murmured. "She's your daughter. Do you think I'm such an ass—"

"Language."

"Such a… bad person that I'd take that away from you?"

"I worried," Phil said, hanging his head. "Not that you're a bad person. But you'd have a right to her. You could take her, or at least try. I… don't have anyone else. Not to go home to, or dote on."

"And she's a piece of me," Clint said. Phil winced. "That's why, isn't it? That's the only reason you'd adopt her. You _know_ she could have a better, safer life, with younger parents. Two parents, and maybe some siblings. But you did your damn… darnedest to get my daughter. I've never heard you say anything about wanting a family. So why would you adopt someone out of the blue?" He shrugged, and placed Julie back in her crib. "Uh… how do I… arrange her?"

Phil hurried to his side, and moved Julie around like a pro. Clint didn't move, happy to stay right where he was. He tried to note Julie's position, but most of his attention was on Phil, and the fluttering he felt at his former handler's close proximity.

"There," Phil said. He still didn't meet Clint's eyes. "Thank you. I… I couldn't handle it if I lost her."

"Because you think it's the closest you'll ever get to having a part of me?"

Phil snorted softly. "Of course it's all I'll ever get," he said. "I've seen the way you flirt, and avoid commitment like it's a fatal disease. There's no reason for me to think that I have a chance with you."

He began to turn away. Clint clutched his arm with one hand, and tilted Phil's head around with the other.

"I flirted because I didn't want anyone to know," he said. "You have _every_ chance, Phil."

He leaned in, watching Phil for any objections. Phil's eyes widened, but he didn't push Clint away; so he took a chance.

The first hint of reciprocation was when Phil's hands tightened on Clint's hips. Then he pushed into the kiss, coaxing Clint's mouth open, and Clint happily obliged. He wasn't gonna pass this up. He sneaked his hands up Phil's arms and held onto his shoulders, pulling him closer. He couldn't let go of this. It was a fucking dream come true.

"I love you, too," he confessed against Phil's lips. He swallowed the small gasp, and began to back Phil up. They bumped into the crib instead, and quickly stepped away from it. Julie was sleeping peacefully, undisturbed by what was happening nearby.

"Maybe we should resume this later," Phil said.

"Not too much later. I don't want you to freak, and run out on me."

"Can you see me doing that?"

"Wouldn't blame you if you did," Clint said, scratching his elbow. "I still stick to it that I'd made a cra… a terrible father."

"You could be the mother," Phil said, lips quirking up at the edges.

"Yeah, thanks. I think I'd be even worse at that."

Phil shrugged, smiling. "It… it doesn't have to be serious, if you don't want to. Honestly, I'll be happy for anything I can get. I've had a crush on you since around day one, and it's grown over time. Anything you're happy to give me… I'll be grateful for."

He blinked. "Seriously, Phil? You think I only want casual with you? It's been _years_ , and I love you, and you love me, and this… this isn't gonna be casual. I want to be with you, Phil. Officially, properly, kid and all. She's yours, and I'm not gonna dispute it. But I wanna be a part of her life somehow, and I wanna be a part of your life."

Phil's smile gradually widened. "Okay."

"Okay?" Clint said.

"Yes. I'll take you out to dinner… if you haven't got some mission to go on?" he added dryly. Clint flushed, ducking his head.

"Sure they can send someone else," he muttered. "Pick me up here?"

"Of course. Julie will be in very good hands."

"What's… what's her middle name?" Clint asked.

"It's Diana."

"The goddess of hunting?"

Phil cleared his throat, blushing. "Yes."

"Associated with archery?"

"I never said I was subtle."

"Aw." Clint kissed Phil on the nose. "You sentimental fool."

"Go finish your dinner, Barton. I won't be long."

"`Kay."

 

Once Phil was alone with Julie, he gripped the side of the crib, and looked down at his daughter. The one who'd ultimately brought them together.

"It's going to be alright," he said, hardly able to believe it. "Everything. I can feel it." He covered his mouth. "Sweetheart…" He lowered his hand. "I knew you'd bring me happiness. I just didn't imagine how much." He ran a finger down her arm. She unconsciously reached out and held onto his finger. "Shh. I'll be back later when it's time to take you home. Sleep." He extracted his finger, smiling again at the little wrinkle of her nose. "Good girl."

He crept out, thanking JARVIS when the AI lowered the lights in the room. Then Phil went to rejoin his friends, the rest of his family. Clint beamed at him from the other side of the table, and the others were grinning. It was obvious that they knew what'd taken place. He didn't mind, despite the teasing he knew he'd receive. He was too happy to be bothered.

He'd deal with the SHIELD personnel relationship paperwork on Monday. He had a feeling the director would say 'About damn time', and sign off on it without even reading.

All in all, Phil felt pretty damn good. And if he woke up tomorrow to find it was all a dream, he could ride on this feeling for a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Of course, it wasn't a dream. I'm not that cruel. I just didn't know how else to end this.
> 
> AND NO SEQUEL IS PLANNED. Just sayin'. Still not entirely happy with the fic, but if I don't post it soon, I won't post it for a long time, and that's not fair to the OP.
> 
> Right! For a prompt on the kink meme, round 25, page 61. I've been filling way too many prompts, and I really don't care. I shouldn't be ignoring my own plot bunnies, but some of these are just too tempting to pass up.
> 
> Please review! And if you like rare pairings, and especially Phil Coulson, please go and read my '25 Days of Phil'. It's loads of fun. (Okay, just in my opinion.) Each chapter is only 100 words long, so it doesn't take all that long to read. Not like this fic. *Face-palm*


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